Ever feel bewildered like Mary and Martha felt when they learned that Jesus didn’t come to heal their brother Lazarus as He had promised? (See John 11:1-32.) Ever felt like in that moment of utter disbelieve, your world just came crashing down? I have. In fact, I felt that way today.
Sitting at my kitchen table with a mountain of problems pushing at my peace of mind, I found myself teary-eyed and very much in the state of Martha. She couldn’t understand why Jesus didn’t show up at her brother’s time of need. At the moment of crisis, Jesus was a no-show. When Jesus did finally make it to the house – four days after Lazarus had died and that was purposeful – Martha was beside herself. I can imagine her being grief-stricken yet too weary to demand anything of the Lord. Simply in need of an explanation, she offered, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (vs. 21, NIV).
Martha had deemed the situation unfixable. Jesus wasn’t just eleventh hour late; He was twelfth hour late. He was simply too late to correct the impossible. Although, to her credit, in the very next verse, she quickly adds a glint of faith with “But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Still, the searing pain is evident in those words “Lord, if you had been here. . .”.
Reeling from a lack of understanding and stung by a sense of betrayal from the one person who could save the situation from utter destruction, Martha must have felt much like I did today, as I sat feeling crushed and overwhelmed. Where are You, Lord? Why are You waiting? I need You now? Don’t You see? Don’t You care?
Oh, so many questions. So many ponderings were suddenly obsolete. The facts spoke for themselves: Death. Silence. Absence.
Mary, whose faith was also wavering, had the same response as Martha. The only different was that in her bewilderment, she threw herself at the Lord’s feet.
Before you are quick to tell me the rest of this well-known Bible story – namely, that Lazarus is raised from the dead and the family is completely restored – I want to point out something very key. It’s one short sentence. In fact, some scholars consider it the shortest sentence in the Bible. The text reads, “Jesus wept” (vs. 35).
I love that verse! You know why? Because it shows that God understands our humanity. He gets our tears and our sadness. He feels for us when we mourn a deep, disturbing, and utterly perplexing loss.
He certainly didn’t have to do that in the story. After all, He knew the absolutely glorious end. But He had compassion. He never reprimanded the sisters for their grief. Even when Jesus tests Martha’s faith by asking if she believes that He can bring back to life that which was dead, He does so with gentleness.
And I had that same sense from the Lord today as I cried over my dinner, wondering how exactly God was going to come through for me in what seemed like a more dire situation than weeks before. He quieted me with His love.
I think He wept with me today. And that really gets to me, you know? I don’t know what’s more powerful – having the God of the universe be so intimate with me to be willing to cry with me, or watching the God of the universe turn my awful circumstances completely around. Honestly, I think I need both.
So, if you are wondering why God isn’t showing up right when your situation looks bleak, remember that not only will God be faithful to bring about a solution for His glory in His time – and maybe even a miraculous one – but He is right there with you shouldering your burden each step of the way.
Isn’t it good to know that we have that kind of God on our side?
– Laura J. Bagby

4 comments
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October 7, 2009 at 10:01 PM
Laura
I know this place. The place where you know in your heart that God WILL show up – yet you can’t rest in peace for the fear and imagined shame – and you keep trying to do everything right so God will ACT and save you – and then waiting, and waiting, and waiting as the situation creeps toward an emergency. It’s agony. The only salvation from this is to give up.
So now I’m mad. I declare (out loud and LOUD!) that if the worst fear comes to pass, then “FINE! I WILL NOT DIE!” and “FINE! TAKE MY LIFE BECAUSE I AM SICK TO DEATH OF WORRYING ABOUT THIS!” Then, after my temper tantrum, I really do give up.
I give up and give my life, my heart, my spirit, my soul, to My Love, My Jehovah. I begin to praise Him and I release my life unto Him.
And then God shows up.
October 8, 2009 at 9:21 AM
mannaforthemoment
Hi, Laura,
Yes, God sometimes waits until we have exhausted ourselves with tears and shouting matches. He knows we need to get all those negative feelings off of our chests. And the good news is He can handle it. No emotional display is ever too much for Him. He never tells us to stop crying or buck it up. Our deep emotional displays might overwhelm others around us who are perplexed at our pain and our wailing or don’t really know what to say or do with our pain. But God is not taken aback. He is mature enough to handle it. He lets us weep. And when we are ready, He comes and comforts us and then does what no human could possibly do.
Laura
October 7, 2009 at 9:00 PM
Kathy Pride
Hi Laura,
I love this, and I am also weeping…life has been very challenging this past year starting with my dad’s death in February. Unfortunately I am involved in litigation; I am being sued by the woman who positioned herself as my dad’s agent, and she is claiming total ownership of everything, my dad, an artist, created in his lifetime. He and my mom were married for fifty seven years. And I am waiting for His redemption of this situation and circumstance, learning to walk in trust, with the lamp unto my feet illuminating only the next step, not the big picture, which thankfully He sees.
But it is hard, and I too, cried today.
Peace, Kathy
October 8, 2009 at 9:17 AM
mannaforthemoment
Kathy,
I am so, so sorry for your very difficult year, having to deal with grief over your father on two counts. May God grant you His grace and His favor. May He provide the victory and soften this woman’s heart to let go. I pray God’s miraculous peace and provision for you – and resolution that comes quickly.
I’m praying for you. Thanks for sharing. That took courage.
Laura